Monday, October 20, 2008

Weekend Recap- exes, partying, cliques and haterade

This weekend I went to a house warming and it was a lot of fun. Black folks really know how to throw a house warming party don't they! White folks house warming start by 2pm and is over by 5 or 6pm. Black folks schedule their house warming aka house party to start at 5pm, but the home owners don't start getting ready until 4:30 pm, people don't start arriving until 5:45 pm, the food isn't ready until 7:30pm, but the dranks are flowing from the moment the first guest arrives lol. Which means that people are tipsy by 8pm and by the end of the party, which may last as long at 12am people are dead drunk and most likely a few people will have to spend the night. lol


Now ain't that black folks for ya, turning a house warming party into a all out house party and then folks getting so drunk that they can't drive home.


I had a good time though, even though I was draggin' instead of staggin' as I had planned. I had (well not actually had, but felt obligated) to take my kid's father along with me because somehow my family thinks that we are still together. So when they told me about the party they asked if he would be coming and I said I didn't know, which I could have ended the misconception right there, but I didn't, so they figured if he wasn't working then he would be with me and he wasn't working so he was....


It wasn't as bad as it could have been, being that he and I are known for arguing anytime we have to be around each other for more than a few hours. We actually got along pretty well, I didn't even have to use any profane language with him, so that was nice. On the ride there I told him that my cousin who was having the house warming party thought that we were still together and he laughed and said that it amuses him everytime we are around each other's families and have to play this "we are together" game. He says its funny to him to watch me squirm when certain questions get asked and he likes to see just how far things will go with us playing along.


Thank God no questions were asked Saturday night. BUT he did say that he still wants to get married. I almost asked to who, but I knew he meant me. I don't know if that will ever happen, being that I still dislike him at times, but somewhere in my heart I guess I do love him..don't I? Well I guess if I have to ask that question, that definitely means we shouldn't be planning any weddings lol.


One thing I didn't like about the party was that some of the women there were pulling the same ole bullshit that they are known for pulling. Yep the clique bullshit. If you previously knew each other then you hung tough, any newcomers were on their own when it came to conversation and socializing. And the clique had to do the usual looking the pretty lady (including myself) over from head to toe from the moment she was introduced, and you didn't get a friendly hi or hello, instead you got, oh hey and then they quickly reverted back to their private conversation. Why do women do that? Why can't another women be pretty and look damn hawt without some woman feeling intimidated by her, even though they don't know each other and this woman hasn't done anything wrong? Thats some serious bullshit there and I see it happen all the time.


My ex asked about it and I said that it's sad, but it happens all the time, so most women usually expect to see it at some point or another when they are out and around other women. Somebody in the crowd is going to be a hater, hell sometimes the whole clique been drinkin haterade!


I know men must be glad that other men don't sit around and act this childish and petty..or do they? Honestly I haven't seen this type of pettiness from men much. Even at this party, the men were all hanging out regardless of who was familiar with each other. They got their drank on, talked shit and enjoyed each other's company.Why can't women just do that and shut the hell up?


Friday, October 17, 2008

Men and the Oh So Dumb Shit

Last night I had a conversation with this "guy". I guess I just call him this "guy" because he is someone I met recently and we aren't dating or anything, we are just getting to know each other.

About a week ago when he asked me why I was single I didn't really have an answer, I guess because I really don't know. It isn't because I don't have offers, it isn't because I am a not attractive or intelligent. I guess one of the main reasons I am single is because not too long ago I decided that I was done dealing with bullshit. I was sick and damn tired of men getting to do what they wanted and still having me being the ride or die chick. Hell if I am going to be ride or die, shouldn't the main I'm riding for be just as ride or die for me? Hell yeah he should, but it never worked out that way, there was always more of me giving and less of me taking and that shit got tired..real tired!

So last night when I was talking to him, we were again on the topic of why I was single. He says that he knows I can't be single single..I may be single but not single single. I asked what the hell is the difference between being single and single single.

..this is where the oh so dumb shit comes in

He then tells me that single single means that you are 100% single, no lover, no significant other, no one who you are committed to and no one is committed to you, but single on the other hand means you are not in a committed relationship, but you do have someone that you "mess off with".


Ain't that some ole made up by a man bullshit?

After giving me his definitions of them both, he went on to ask me, so which one are you?
So now with a clear understanding of this made up bullshit I answered that I was single single and which was he. He said that he was single (ok now he will have a bullshit add on for the bullshit answer)
He goes on to tell me that he is not in a relationship with anyone, but he does still "mess off" with his child's mother.


Now being that I have good sense, and have come upon quite a few players and undercover players, you would have thought that I would have immediately ended this conversation because the red flags of a no good man where waving everywhere. But I didn't. I finished the conversation as if he hadn't just basically told me that he has someone but he isn't man enough to admit that he does.

I decided that since I know from day one that he has possible bullshit up his sleeve, either I can let him remain just "that guy" or I can play along with his bullshit. Now being that I said I was done with meaningless foolish bullshit a while back, you would think that I wouldn't even contemplate continuing talking to this guy, but he does have a few things going for him. First off he can make me LMAO..and that is always a plus. He is nice looking, is stable and we have a lot in common. So as for now he will remain "just that guy".

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Kesha Renee`

I am Kesha Renee`
I am a mother, a daughter, a lover, an ex-fiance, a reader and writer..and some people say I am borderline anti-social with a tinge of an anger management problem. As of right now I cannot say yay or nay if I agree with them because I haven't completely found myself and if you haven't found yourself how in the hell are you going to agree with the titles given to you. I won't accept them until I have clear proof and am comfortable saying "yep that's me". As of right now, I ain't completely sold on the anti-social or the anger issues. Also, I am saved, even though sometimes it wouldn't be evident because I can boogie with the best of the bitches. BUT I'm working on that, I swear I am, I'm just not completely there yet.

I guess the main reason I decided to keep a blog of my life is because sometimes it takes looking at your own actions, decisions, mishaps, escapades etc. to see yourself for who you really are. I've tried that looking in the mirror crap and quite honestly when you know you do fucked up shit looking in the mirror isn't going to stop your behavior or make you behave, at least for me it hasn't. So I only look in the mirror to see how I look on the outside, it does nothing as far as my insides.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm no bad girl, I'm not even a good girl gone bad, I'm just a normal person, living, learning and fucking up at times. This blog is just basically a place for me to jot down my thoughts about myself, my life and anything else I put here. Hopefully none of those judgemental douche bag blog readers that I have seen around the net will come perusing over here and get on there high horse because most likely it won't be a good day for it..it will never be a good day for it.

There is no telling what you may read in this blog (IF anyone ever decides to read it) So as of 10/16/2008, this is me Kesha Renee

 

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